"bollocks" is such a funny word to me like what is a bollock
it’s literally a testicle
are you telling me that “bollocks” is literally just the english way of cursing “balls”
are you telling me that people didn’t know that
All I can think about right now is, “The Blind Side” starring Sandra Balls.
1. I lost your lighter. The one you had since you were in high school. It didn’t work anymore but you took it with you everywhere. I know you wished you could’ve used it to light your cigarettes. Burn yourself alive. I know it kept you safe. I thought you’d be mad but you didn’t mind that it was gone. You don’t seem to have a problem losing things you care about.
2. You used to tell me you could taste stars in my mouth. You haven’t kissed me in days.
3. I played my favorite song for you a few months ago. I got it stuck in your head. You played it on repeat for weeks. I tried to listen to it last night and you told me to shut it off, you were sick of it.
4. I know you’re tired of trying to fix me. I think you’ve realized that there will always be nights when I fall apart. You will always have to come home and find me shaking on the bathroom floor. You will always have to try and save me. I think you finally noticed that the cuts on my wrist never heal.
5. Some nights when I’m so numb I can’t feel the covers around me, I’ll sleep on the floor. I’ve slept on the floor for the last 8 nights. You haven’t mentioned it.
6. You threw away the book I gave you for your birthday because it was damaged.
7. I saw the way you looked at her.
8. You used to make my heart beat faster. Lately, it’s been falling out of my chest. You don’t seem to mind
A Lack Of Color | Death Cab For Cutie
This is fact not fiction
For the first time in years
I am still too scared to write
for fear they aren’t ready yet.
Please let me underneath your skin
so that I can hide them there
until they learn the taste of bravery
and know how to stand on their own.
I am not the first person you loved.
You are not the first person I looked at
with a mouthful of forevers. We
have both known loss like the sharp edges
of a knife. We have both lived with lips
more scar tissue than skin. Our love came
unannounced in the middle of the night.
Our love came when we’d given up
on asking love to come. I think
that has to be part
of its miracle.
This is how we heal.
I will kiss you like forgiveness. You
will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms
will bandage and we will press promises
between us like flowers in a book.
I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat
on your skin. I will write novels to the scar
of your nose. I will write a dictionary
of all the words I have used trying
to describe the way it feels to have finally,
finally found you.
And I will not be afraid
of your scars.
I know sometimes
it’s still hard to let me see you
in all your cracked perfection,
but please know:
whether it’s the days you burn
more brilliant than the sun
or the nights you collapse into my lap
your body broken into a thousand questions,
you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I will love you when you are a still day.
I will love you when you are a hurricane.